/ 感悟

给记忆中的你──陈泉

还记得,你是一个娇小却又倔强的女孩。一股不服输的气质通过每一句谈吐散发,面对年级前10的排名,没有人会小视这个名字。

还记得,我们是同班,是挚友,放学后家在同一个方向,快乐的单车轮子和时间一起旋转,伴随着关于初中生对人生的话题,度过了初中的3年。

还记得,我们也曾经在一起过,爱与恨也许不适合这个年龄,被抛弃在了上学的路上。

还记得,你说过喜欢我身上的香味,不知道为什么,这句话似乎成为我所记得你说过的唯一一句。

初三的秋天,你,离开了,无情的疾病让你错过了成为一个普通中考生。对于之后的你,我一无所知,只听说是脑类疾病,手术很大。那时的我,土到手机都没有,我们联系的方式,似乎只有在放学路上等你。

之后,我去了昆明,离开了我长大的故土玉溪,对于你的消息,更加稀少,面对新的同学,新的城市,我还需要很多时间来适应,玉溪的只字片语,也只在同在昆明的玉溪人之间传递。

留级,留级,你被逼去这样选择,你落下了很多课程。为什么疾病要发生在你的身上,你有理由抱怨,发狂,和恨。不得不承认,上帝比我还粗心,创造的人与人并不公平。

你还好吗?一直都想问问你这个问题。

当善男信女说出经典的谎言──永远爱你时,变化却在悄无声息的产生。于是分手的结局,再一次证明,这个世界并没有永恒。记忆中的你,也不再是记忆中的样子。

但是我确定,你依旧倔强。你想要曾经的辉煌,你希望回到过去的样子,把名字再次填入年级前10。不屈不挠。

《假如给我三天光明》,你也去记起了这本书的名字,更加努力的生活,学习,奋斗。

我确定,病痛,击不垮坚强的你。

时钟还在滴答,滴答,“永远爱你”还在不停的重复,破灭,一切都还在变化。直到“男友,恋爱,烫头发,非主流”这些词语与你放在了一起,我真的无法接受,我不相信,就如同我坚信永恒。

虽然我对你已经一无所知,但我知道,你似乎已经放弃了相信上帝,他对你不公,你不再相信他承诺你的──no pain no gain..

在高中,你再次留级了,也许你觉得你想要更好的结局,就像很多人想要拥有时光机,更改过去,重新开始人生。

但是无论怎么更改,结局都不如人所愿。有了不错的生活,希望更好的,要更好,更好,但永远没有最好。

这是人类的贪婪。贪婪慢慢在吞噬你的灵魂,让你坐立不安。

想要获得东西的成本,就是你为了获得这件东西所要放弃的。这是经济学中的机会成本。也是永恒的定律。

你用时间作为本金,开始交换一个你想要的结局。

Nothing is wrong, nothing is right... 只是我们的选择不同,并没有好坏之分。

可是,我的朋友,这样值得吗?

人生的炫丽,在于过程,而我们的结局早已确定,它是死亡。为什么你要那么在乎?

人生的意义,在于梦想,而我们的现实早已确定,它是坎坷。为什么你要那么念念不忘?

人生的价值,在于自我,而我们在他人眼中的样子早已确定,它是肤浅的。为什么你要那么看重?

你活在了别人的眼光中,你在世俗中挣扎。你为获得别人的肯定正在付出代价。

中考,高考,留学,名牌大学,海龟,体面的工作,Money,香车,全墅,佳人──世俗的法则。

而真正的人性却被磨灭,当人不再有梦。

教育的悲哀,社会的悲哀。

Who you are, and who you want to be... 一个一生的问句。

live or life, 不同的人生。

世俗与迂腐还在蔓延,大学生还在找不到工作。

“愚蠢的人类...” 几千年前,上帝说完这句话就走了,连清理我们这些垃圾都不屑于,留下我们自身自灭,在悲伤中继续伤痛。

引用[美国] 海伦·凯勒  《假如给我三天光明》

I have often thought it would be a blessing if each human being were stricken blind and deaf for a few days at some time during his early adult life. Darkness would make him more appreciative of sight; silence would tech him the joys of sound.

我常常想,如果每个人在他成年的早期有一段时间致瞎致聋,那会是一种幸事,黑暗会使他更珍惜视力,寂静会教导他享受声音。

Now and then I have tested my seeing friends to discover what they see. Recently I was visited by a very good friends who had just returned from a long walk in the woods, and I asked her what she had observed.. “Nothing in particular, “ she replied. I might have been incredulous had I not been accustomed to such reposes, for long ago I became convinced that the seeing see little.

我不时地询问过我的能看见东西的朋友们,以了解他们看到什么。最近,我的一个很好的朋友来看我,她刚从一片森林里散步许久回来,我问她看到了什么,她答道:“没什么特别的。”如果我不是习惯了听到这种回答,我都可能不相信,因为很久以来我已确信这个情况:能看得见的人却看不到什么。

How was it possible, I asked myself, to walk for an hour through the woods and see nothing worthy of note? I who cannot see find hundreds of things to interest me through mere touch. I feel the delicate symmetry of a leaf. I pass my hands lovingly about the smooth skin of a silver birch, or the rough, shaggy bark of a pine. In the spring I touch the branches of trees hopefully in search of a bud the first sign of awakening Nature after her winter’s sleep. I feel the delightful, velvety texture of a flower, and discover its remarkable convolutions; and something of the miracle of Nature is revealed to me. Occasionally, if I am very fortunate, I place my hand gently on a small tree and feel the happy quiver of a bird in full song. I am delighted to have the cool waters of a brook rush thought my open finger. To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug. To me the page ant of seasons is a thrilling and unending drama, the action of which streams through my finger tips.

我独自一人,在林子里散步一小时之久而没有看到任何值得注意的东西,那怎么可能呢?我自己,一个不能看见东西的人,仅仅通过触觉,都发现许许多多令我有兴趣的东西。我感触到一片树叶的完美的对称性。我用手喜爱地抚摸过一株白桦那光潮的树皮,或一棵松树的粗糙树皮。春天,我摸着树干的枝条满怀希望地搜索着嫩芽,那是严冬的沉睡后,大自然苏醒的第一个迹象。我抚摸过花朵那令人愉快的天鹅绒般的质地,感觉到它那奇妙的卷绕,一些大自然奇迹向我展现了。有时,如果我很幸运,我把手轻轻地放在一棵小树上,还能感受到一只高声歌唱的小鸟的愉快颤抖,我十分快乐地让小溪涧的凉水穿过我张开的手指流淌过去。对我来说,一片茂密的地毯式的松针叶或松软而富弹性的草地比最豪华的波斯地毯更受欢迎。对我来说四季的壮观而华丽的展示是一部令人激动的、无穷尽的戏剧。这部戏剧的表演,通过我的手指尖端涌淌出来。

At times my heart cries out with longing to see all these things. If I can get so much pleasure from mere touch, how much more beauty must be revealed by sight. Yet, those who have eyes apparently see little. the panorama of color and action which fills the world is taken for granted. It is human, perhaps, to appreciate little that which we have and to long for that which we have not, but it is a great pity that in the world of light the gift of sight is used only as a mere conveniences rather than as a means of adding fullness to life.

有时,由于渴望能看到这一切东西,我的内心在哭泣。如果说仅凭我的触觉我就能感受到这么多的愉快,那么凭视觉该有多少美丽的东西显露出来。然而,那些能看见的人明显地看得很少,充满世间的色彩和动作的景象被当成理所当然,或许,这是人性共有的特点;对我们具有的不怎么欣赏,而对我们不具有的却渴望得到。然而,这是一个极大的遗憾,在光明的世界里,视力的天赋仅仅作为一种方便之用,而没有作为增添生活美满的手段。

If I were the president of a university I should establish a compulsory course in “How to Use Your Eyes“. The professor would try to show his pupils how they could add joy to their lives by really seeing what passes unnoticed before them. He would try to awake their dormant and sluggish faculties.

如果我是一所大学的校长,我就要开设一门强制的必修课“如何应用你的眼睛”。这门课的教授应该试图给他的学生显示怎样能以看见那些在他们面前一现而过的东西来增添他们生活的乐趣,这位教授应该试图唤醒他们沉睡和懒散的天赋。

Perhaps I can best illustrate by imagining what I should most like to see if I were given the use of my eyes, say, for just three days. And while I am imagining, suppose you, too, set your mind to work on the problem of how you would use your own eyes if you had only three more days to see. If with the on-coming darkness of the third night you knew that the sun would never rise for you again, how would you spend those three precious intervening days? What would you most want to let your gaze rest upon?

或许,如果让我来应用我的眼睛,比方说,仅仅用3天吧,我能以我想象的最喜欢看见的东西来很好地说清楚这个问题。而且,当我想象的时候,设想你也在思考这个问题。如果你也只有3天多点的时间看东西,你该如何应用你自己的眼睛。如果面对即将到来的第三个夜晚的黑暗,你又知道,太阳对你来说,永不再升起了,那么你该怎样度过这插进来的宝贵的3天呢?你最想要注视的东西是什么呢?

I, naturally, should want most to see the things which have become dear to me through my years of darkness. You, too, would want to let your eyes rest on the things that have become dear to you so that you could take the memory of them with you into the night that loomed before you.

当然,我会最想看到我多年的黑暗中对我变得珍贵的事情,你也会想让你们的目光停留在那些对你已经变得珍贵的事情上。这样,你就能随着你进入那逼近在你面前的长夜而永远记住它们。

康上明学

康上明学

理想主义者,想得太多,做得太少。欢迎关注微信公共号「明学的白板」

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